It Killed Bill

David Carradine, the actor famous for playing Kwai Chang Caine in the TV show Kung Fu, was found dead in a hotel room in Bangkok. If you grew up in the 70s like I did, it was mandatory that you watched Kung Fu. For those that did not, Carradine was Bill in Kill Bill. The plot of Kung Fu was that Caine, a Shaolin Monk, is in Old West America searching for his half brother. While he is a man of peace, for some reason each week some racist cowboy would start trouble and Caine would reluctantly have to open a can of Kung Fu whoop ass on him. The show was also filed with flashbacks to Caine’s upbringing in China and his training with the blind Master Po. One scene that pretty every male who watched the show has recreated with his friends is where Caine would try to take a stone from Master Po’s hand. Once he was able to do that, his training was complete and he could enter the world.

Of course that show could not be made today. At least it couldn’t be done with a white guy playing the role of an Asian just by squinting. Kung Fu ended up being the biggest success for David Carradine, who went on to play a ton of roles in numerous forgettable TV shows and movies. It would be hard to pick which was his most embarrassing, until now. I think the way he died would be his most embarrassing performance. He was found naked hanging a closet with a rope tied around his neck and penis, suggesting it was an accidental death while performing auto-erotic asphyxiation. So while he was quick enough to snatch the stone from the master’s hand he couldn’t get the rope of his neck in time.

That has to be every man’s nightmare – you are spanking it to some internet and you have a heart attack and your wife/girlfriend/mother comes home to find you dead sitting at the computer with your pants around your ankles and your dick in your hand. That’s why the good folks here at I’m Rubber Your Glue have introduced the USB defibrillator. Just keep the defibrillator plugged into any USB port on your computer and laptop and should the unthinkable happen while you are on YouPorn.com, your heart will automatically be shocked back into a normal rhythm, saving yourself and your family from embarrassment and lying at your funeral. Also available - the SplatterMaster® Defibrillator cover (sold separately).