Rolling For the Crave

A White Castle in St. Paul, Minnesota refused to serve a woman who rolled on up to their drive thru in a motorized scooter. Like any fast food restaurant concerned with safety, this particular White Castle restricts any business after 11pm to the drive thru window. Either that or they are scared of Gremlins. Also like most fast food restaurants, White Castle restricts their drive thru to licensed motor vehicles.

** This is true. Once in junior high, my friends and I got baked and tried to navigate a shopping cart through the drive thru of McDonald's. It wasn't as ambitious (and therefore contradictory to stoner behavior) as it seems; the shopping cart had been abandoned not 50 feet from the drive thru. And come to think of it, that McDonald's was basically next door to a White Castle. A bar was the only business between the two. **

Anyway, Ariel Wade motored over to her local White Castle for some after midnight eats and was "madder than fish grease" when she was turned away. She is now petitioning the Minnesota Disability Law Center for help in suing White Castle, but according to Justin Page, a staff attorney, this is an "unsettled" area of law.

I would argue that the signs clearly posted in the White Castle drive thru advising that only licensed motor vehicles will be served would have been the giveaway (and don't give me any of that I couldn't see them bullshit, I see those things even when I'm drunk and not wearing my glasses). I would also argue that Ariel Wade is quite large*, and although she claims to use the scooter due to "degenerative arthritis in her back," she may be one of those "I'm really fucking lazy and eat fast food in the middle of the night" people.

Possibly she developed the arthritis while working as "a onetime exotic dancer in New Orleans who until recently worked selling bingo tickets at a St. Paul bar." That's from the Minneapolis-St. Paul Star Tribune, okay, not me.

It certainly doesn't help my opinion of her when she takes a stand by stating, "You can try to butter me up all you want to. Free meals aint going to work."

And when the reporter shut off the recorder, she said, "Mmmmmm, butter."


*Ariel Wade not pictured. That is a much smaller woman riding her Hoveround on a unicorn.

The Bitch Who Won't Eat Ham

I've called out Gwyneth Paltrow before. I've ranted about her asinine GOOP newsletter, her diet, and most of all, the giant stick up her ass. But Gwyneth doesn't know me and I'm not famous, so since then I've been waiting around for someone better to say the same thing.

Anthony Bourdain, you remain one of my heroes.

(And not just because Brad describes me as "Like Anthony Bourdain with a great rack.")

On the topic of Spain...On the Road Again, the travel/food show she's on with Bourdain's friend Mario Batali, Bourdain said "Why would you go to Spain with the one bitch who refuses to eat ham?"

According to Perez Hilton, Gwyneth's macrobiotic diet forbids her from eating meat and she has claimed that she will not eat meat during the show. Which is about food. In Spain. Where one of their proudest culinary traditions is curing pork.

Why would Gwyneth be there at all? She's allegedly friends with Mario Batali, but I can't imagine her eating or drinking anything worthwhile at all, let alone any of the delicious, fatty, creative, decidedly un-blessed-by-a-Kabbalah-leader stuff in Spain and be fun enough to be a travel companion. I mean, she'd be great to take with you to a colonic spa, but Spain? Mario, wtf?

A Real Douche Bag Move

See the photo below? What you are witnessing is a real douche bag move.


No, I am not calling George H. W. Bush a douche, but the guy who took this picture of the former president and sold it to the media is a DB of the highest order. Let me explain: Seems the Bush’s were having party for Barbara’s birthday and they invited some of the cast from A Chorus Line to their beach house, so it would be appropriate that people would be clothed in swim wear, right? And if you meet someone famous like a former president you might want to get your picture taken with him, right? So far so good.

There is a code between men. You don’t rat another man out when it comes to has activity with women, especially when the woman is question is not your wife or girlfriend. What happens in the strip club stays there. Same happens when you are at party in your own home and something like this goes on. He’s an old man and entitled to have a hot chick on his lap if he wants. I am no fan of the former president but I do know what releasing this photo is a violation of the man code

It Killed Bill

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