Need to feel inadequate

So, I have not written anything in a while, and I owe you all an explanation. I've been jerking off every time I sit down at the computer (sorry public library computer lab users).

Anyway,

As a married man and a frequent customer of the local pharmacy, I often find myself wandering the medicinal stacks. Taking the opportunity to peruse the myriad of contraceptives and sexual aids. A world that I haven't inhabited in sometime, a world full of VD and a need for pina colada scented butt lube. This world has expanded by the way, whether it be your basic flavored condoms, lube that makes your private parts burn (On purpose really?) or for the really adventurous a condom that vibrates.

Being an inquisitive type, as I go to leave said isle I always check out how much dust has collected on the Magnum condom boxes, just to see if someone actually buys these. For those of you who don't know, these are for people with a birth defect.

Well, much to my chagrin there is actually now an even BIGGER CONDOM, The Magnum XL. Not only is there bigger dicks out there, they are actually enough of them that they have added a shift at the factory.

Now don't get me wrong. Who am I to begrudge another man his need for contraceptives or the fact that his mother was a heroin mule while pregnant with him. My problem is with the Manufacturer.

Manufacturer? You might ask.

We'll, I just would like to know why the Huge Penis brigade gets a condom named after a Clint Eastwood Movie. Like they need more self-esteem.

I have an Idea for Trojan since Clint Eastwood seems to be there muse.

How about a condom for guys who date whores " Any Which Way But Loose" OR condoms with extra lube meant for that extra input " Dirty Hairy". Maybe even a condom for that guy who has a girl whose vagina is like a prison "Escape from Alcatraz" for that bitch who just won't let go.

love,

-ideajones