The World's First Anti-Social Networking Site

This blog is the start of what we hope will become the world's first anti-social networking site. It is not a place to make friends. It is a place to make fun of all of the douchebags that take themselves way too seriously; politicians, celebrities, and those hoping to make themselves famous on the net. You know, those people who have 1,000 friends or create YouTube videos hoping they will get noticed.

This is the place where you can come to make fun of those people. Unlike Digg.com and similar sites, we want to see the worst the Web has to offer. Those people who are just screaming "make fun of me." That's what this site is about.


And you can start with us. What kind of pathetic people take the time to register and create a Web page with an obvious typo?

Tell us how much you hate us at imrubberyourglue@gmail.com


Tuesday, February 17, 2009

To Catch A Scumbag Part 4

Continued from To Catch a Scumbag Part 3

Now back to our tale. I was fed up and I wanted action. I decided that I was not going to go to work and hide in the house and wait to catch these people. They had come and gone every day so I figured I had a solid chance. I also wanted to have contractors out to give bids on repairing the damage and a few burglar alarm companies as well. I took my car up to the police station and left it so it looked like no one was home. I waited, and waited. I had the camera set up and was watching my computer monitor all day. Zero activity the whole day. All I saw was squirrels and birds, no criminals. I decided it was a fluke and did the same thing the next day. Pretty early the next morning I see a person come down from behind the house next door, jump the fence, and start heading across the yard to towards the house. I jump up, grab my cell phone and my weapon of choice and head outside. Rathe
r than going in the house, he comes around the front and is heading down the street. I stop him and ask him what he is doing. He tells me he is going to the store. So I lay into him about how this is private property and what could happen to people who trespass and that I better not ever see him cutting through again. He was polite and said he wouldn’t cut through anymore.

We had plans to go out for the day on Saturday, January 10 to Clarksville, MO to go eagle watching and eat at this really great restaurant called Village of the Blue Rose. We set up the camera and headed out for the day. We were gone for about 12 hours that day. We had a great time and forgot about all of our problems for awhile. I decided to review the footage and it was pretty much a field day of people coming and going from the house next door. I got really great shots of a person entering the house through the back door so I printed it out and called the police. One of the original patrol officers showed up and I handed him the photos. Two of the people were ones I had stopped earlier and a couple new faces. He seemed pretty impressed that we had pictures and times of people coming and going. He checked out the house and of course, no one was there.So we show up at the Woodson Terrace city council meeting on Thursday, January 15 with our photos of the suspects in hand as well as pictures of the mess from the Realtors busted ass signs scattered across the yard. I had two goals. To get the city to force the Realtor to take action and to get the house boarded up or otherwise secured. Right after the Pledge of Allegiance there is an opportunity for any citizens to bring business to the board. There were not many people there but I waited and let some others speak. I think this really worked to my advantage. This is also a bit of a departure from our crime story, but a couple of things happened before I got to speak that made me both laugh and worry. First, there were two ladies there who seemed to be “regulars.” I have to figure that if you are regularly going to city council meetings you may be some sort of crack pot. They did not prove me wrong. They were asking questions about how does one run for alderman, why is so and so allowed to have a sign in their yard but someone else is not and on and on. Finally they finished and another person got up to speak.

Let me just give you a little background about Woodson Terrace. While things are vastly different now, back in the 1980’s there was only one black family in the Woo. That’s it. Solamente uno. In 1992, I was working in real estate and a friend of mine sold a house to another black couple in Woodson Terrace. She got death threats. That’s right, plural. She got a lot of angry phone calls from local residents of that post World War II generation that were predominate at that time. A lot of those people and feelings are still prevalent today, but I think it is easy to say that presently Woodson Terrace is a diverse mix of races and cultures.

A couple of years ago a new night club called Brothers opened in our town. It catered to an upscale black crowd. Of course the old guard in town did not like. First and most obviously, because of the of the color of the skin of the patrons. Second, it replaced a local institution that was a favorite of the old guard – Groan’s Cafeteria. Brothers always seemed to have a good crowd and I never heard of any problems related to the club. For whatever reason the placed closed and the next speaker was there because she was looking to open a new business, again a nightclub, in the same location.

The woman got up and introduced herself and said she was looking to get a liquor license. Immediately the mayor stopped her and said that she needed to first go through the process of applying for the license and having an background check completed by the police department and that this was not the forum for that. She claimed she did do those things but the city clerk politely told her that no, she applied for a business license, not a liquor license they are two different things. She sat down but her husband was with her. I think he thought he was going to use his powerful oratory skills and the council would be so impressed that they would hand over a liquor license on the spot.

He started off by introducing himself as he husband and saying he was just there to support his wife. He then launched into a long diatribe about how she is a wonderful person and she should not be judged by any of his actions. So now am thinking “felon!” Then he starts talking about how he is proud of his life. The mayor obliged for awhile and then again told them that there is a process, and if they would follow the process then they may end up with their license. Since his goal was not achieved, he continued. The mayor only let this go on a short time and once again reviewed the process for getting a liquor license. The man started to get angry since the council had still failed to hand over the license even after he waxed philosophical. The chief of police cut in and said “Look, we told you what to do and you haven’t done it. And when I stopped by the other day while you were working in the building I told you that it would be a good idea to get your liquor license before continuing to do any work. Call and set up an appointment to get your license and background check. You cannot do that here.” So the man said, “I don’t understand why you are making us jump through all these hoops. When you stopped by the other day, I was not illiterate in any way…..” That is not a typo. The man said he was not illiterate. I believe he meant belligerent. This was only one of many large words he used out of context during his diatribe. I also think he felt he was just so charming that he should a liquor license. Finally he sat down but the ordeal was not over. The couple brought their pastor with them. He too was told about the process and that this couple has not taken any of the steps to complete the process. Well, he pastor launched into his best Al Sharpton and hinted at the racism that must be behind the city wanting them to actually apply for a liquor license. So now I am thinking that maybe it is not just crackpots who go to these meetings. This is solid entertainment.

More to come.....

2 comments:

Erin said...

Hahaaaa, "ghetto legalese" was one of the key components of my job in 'hood property management. The highlight of one day was this voicemail (not totally verbatim but the ridiculous words/phrases are actual quotes)....

"I am not presently employed at present but I will be pursuing a position that will bring some lucrivitous income. Please call me at your earliest convention."

suzyjax said...

Overland City Council meetings have always proven to be entertaining. I can't imagine that Woodson Terrace's wouldn't be either.

Can't wait for the next installment (though it sounds like today there was action to make this the never ending story).