Vagina Du Jour

Seems like there has been a lot of talk about the female sex organ here on ImRubberYourGlue.com. The other day we pondered if there was something wrong with Christie Brinkley’s snizz, and today’s vag du jour is Jessica Alba. These are two pretty fine vaginas mind you, although one is certainly past its prime. The one ostensibly still in it’s prime is Ms. Alba’s, though an article in OK! Magazine puts that in question.

Jessica brag’s about how easy her child birth was to the rag. In fact she said of her all natural child birth “I didn’t scream.” Natural child birth gives you absolutely zero drugs for pain. None. Not even Tylenol. That means she was able to pass something the size of a watermelon through her love canal sans opiates and didn’t even make a wimper? I had surgery a few years back that required me to be on a catheter and when they pulled it out I screamed like a school girl, and that was roughly the same size as the orifice it was exiting.

A woman should never brag that child birth was easy. Saying a human being can slide right out of you, no problem, implies there is little resistance going on down there. For a guy that can be downright discouraging, especially for those of us who are not Ron Jeremy.




This is how I like to think of Jessica Alba.....

What's Wrong With Christie Brinkley's Pussy?

So Christie Brinkley just settled her divorce to architect Peter Cook. Apparently the details that were about to come out were so embarrassing that they decided it was time to settle and stop the ugliness. This was Christie’s fourth marriage in her 4 years on the planet. So I think we can safely assume that something is wrong with Ms. Brinkley.

She was first married to an artist for nine years. Then she was married to Billy Joel for just 9 years. Billy, while a great singer and an icon in American music, is not that great looking of a guy. He’s short, way shorter then her. And if you saw his interview with Oprah, not much personality. I would have to conclude that landing Christie Brinkley was quite the catch for him, but apparently he was not married to her very long before he started cheating. She then was married to some real estate developer whom she filed for divorce just weeks after their first child was born. Again, this had to be the catch of a life time since he was basically just some dude.

This current divorce was caused by the husband having an affair with an 18 girl. It is also alleged that he was spending up to $8,000 a month on porn. He and Brinkley had only been married a few months when all of this was going on. The beginning of the relationship is when the sex is best, right? Yet this guy was already on to a little side action plus spending four figures a month on porn? Since even at 54 she is still easy on the eyes I can only draw one conclusion; something is wrong with her cha-cha. Either there is an odor issue or she simply chooses not to use it. I suppose that she could also be the world’s biggest pain in the ass but if that were the case would she had even gotten to the wedding stage 4 times?

By contrast, Angelina Jolie’s hoohee must be magical. She somehow got the best looking, most eligible bachelor in the country and convinced him that rather than banging a different “10” each night he would much happier taking care of a bunch of third-world kids. There is obviously two very different vaginal dynamics going on here.