The other day, the boyfriend and I were flipping through the channels on his non-cable TV. I didn't grow up with cable, so my response to people who did have it and said "There's nothing on!" was "Are you kidding? You've got seventy-something channels. There's always something on!" Luckily, although I have now had cable for the past few years, I haven't lost my television naïvety and still think there's always something on.But only when you have cable.
Like I said, the boyfriend doesn't have cable. I'm not one to complain (not about TV, anyway), so I read while he obsessively flips through no more than eight channels. I look up every now and then, usually during Nova or when I have the opportunity to mock TMZ and their bogus-ass "newsroom."
During his remote-hogging, he came across what I find to be the absolute worst show on TV: Don't Forget The Lyrics.
Everyone knows Wayne Brady sold his soul to Satan and that Satan obviously has no sense of humor. Everyone also knows that people have a nearly unlimited capacity for humiliation, and that karaoke bars the world over are their Shangri La. I can accept these truths. What I cannot accept, however, are dorky white people who clearly spent hours in front of their bathroom mirrors practicing Lionel Richie songs and different ways to shout the show's catchphrase, "LOCK IN THOSE LYRICS!"
Patrick Kramer, you shall die.
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