Something's Loose, All Right

Welcome to E!'s new hit, everyone. "Pam: Girl On The Loose" premieres on Sunday. I'm sure this will be a groundbreaking event for TV and feature everything we haven't seen before. Which, considering we're talking about Pamela Anderson, is nothing.

Whose brilliant idea was this? Why didn't I include Pam on my Top 10 People Who Shouldn't Be Famous Anymore list? Why would anyone care to see her do stuff on TV for free when we've practically stuck our heads inside of her birth canal already?

What does she even do? Last I heard she was wearing PETA shirts and driving to random KFC parking lots to protest the mistreatment of chickens. This isn't surprising considering PETA's built-for-idiots propaganda tactics, though it's disappointing to see that no one is being paid to tell Pam to just shut up and get naked. In one snippet of a trailer for P:GOTL (eff yeah, acronyms!), Pam throws a stool out of a hotel room because she claims its made of sealskin. How she would know this I have no idea, just as I have no idea how she's never seemed to consider the number of cute, fuzzy widdle animals used to test breast implants.

And it's not like she's even hot anymore. There was a time when girls had boobies, wore red swimsuits, and made David Hasselhoff look like less of a total doucherocket. Those days were the mid-90s, friends, and from the looks of Pamela Anderson these days, they're long gone. Just like her eyebrows.

She's getting older, fine, it happens even when you've got industrial-grade chemicals injected into every man-made orifice possible on the human body. But do you have to get back on TV when you look like a cantaloupe that's been left on the counter when you went away for the weekend?

Yeesh.

It's a sad day when I fondly recall the days of Pamela Anderson sex tapes (but only the Tommy Lee one because I've seen both and Bret Michaels fucking in a bandana is not a pretty sight). It's an even sadder day when I think of how much Pamela Anderson gets paid to simply breathe. And wither. And age. And occasionally talk.

Hey Pam, I've got a project for you. Instead of getting married to the next dirtball idiot who stares at your tits for one whole minute longer than the average guy who's downloaded them a billion times, why don't you try not giving your parents simultaneous strokes?

Jesus, when everything you do makes Tommy Lee look .08% more intelligent, you're going down the tubes pretty fast.

File This Under Who Gives A Rat's Ass

We are in two wars.

Unemployment is up.

There is a mortgage crisis.

Gas is $4 a gallon.

Here is today's headline

Justin Timberlake: I Wore Trucker Caps Before Ashton

The Dark Douche

Los Angeles (E! Online) - Heath Ledger might get an Oscar nod for his agent of chaos in The Dark Knight.

Spencer Taylor might get five to seven.
The 20-year-old Michigan weirdo was busted for trying to swipe Batman posters and stand-ups from the lobby of a movie theater, all while in his homemade Joker getup.
The freaky fanboy was rung up on charges of larceny, malicious destruction of property and a bad mascara job.

Los Angeles (E! Online) - Heath Ledger might get an Oscar nod for his agent of chaos in The Dark Knight.

Spencer Taylor might get five to seven.

The 20-year-old Michigan weirdo was busted for trying to swipe Batman posters and stand-ups from the lobby of a movie theater, all while in his homemade Joker getup. The freaky fanboy was rung up on charges of larceny, malicious destruction of property and a bad mascara job.

Things That Are Obvious to Some of Us

I've really been meaning to post something here for the last couple of weeks. I've even had a couple of decent ideas, just no time. But after reading this 'breaking news story' I could not put it off any longer, even if this is the equivalent of shooting fish in a barrel...

Amy Winehouse, wait for it people, has been hospitalized for an 'allergic reaction to medication'. Seriously? I hope her publicist is getting a healthy bump in pay for keeping a straight face while continuing to report this shite and coming up with 101 ways to say 'overdose'. A finer journalistic talent, the world has never known.

Where was this so called 'spokesperson' when Amy was being quoted as saying she wants to have 5 children (and with that prize of husband, Blake)? Yes, of course you do dear, and someday I'm going to grow up and have kittens. With all the money she's made for Universal Records, surely there's someone on the payroll responsible for editing/managing/wrangling her. The only thing I can figure is that some number cruncher worked out the cost/benefit on this project and determined Amy pays out better dead.

But what about her parents? They're always handy with a terribly insightful comment like Amy has early stage emphysema. or Don't buy Amy's albums, that will force her to get help!, or my personal favorite, Wow, look at this neato wax figure of what our kid used to look like. Really, Mom & Pop Winehouse, how far does it have to go? Are you right this instant basking in rosy thoughts of spoiling those aforementioned, bee-hived, crack-addicted grandbabies?

How about this people (and I'm talking to you Mom & Pop) - take a cue from Britney's camp. They may not have done much right (Hello, Lynn? Yeah, can we just drop that parenting book already?) but at least they finally intervened. Let's be honest, she weighs like, 18 pounds, I don't care if she does say no, no, no - tie the bitch down and haul her off to Rehab already.

Some Days It's Just Too Easy: Follow-up

For some reason the post on the fish pedicures has stuck with me. I keep thinking about it and wanting to know who really would do this? Today I got my answer. Check out these ladies.
I wasn't sure if I was looking at a spa or a new treatment at the New England Patriot's training camp.

New Marketing Trend in Hollywood

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With The Dark Knight being the fastest movie to ever reach $200 million at the box office, I am afraid that it will start a new trend in movie marketing – killing off a major star. The sad truth is that some douchebag Hollywood producers have already had this discussion while doing coke in the bathroom at Beso. You couldn’t just kill of any cast member, it has to be someone of some stature. For example, killing off Clint Howard is not going to get nearly the attention of killing someone like Casey Affleck. It can’t be a major star either. Bumping off Clooney or Pitt will hurt you in the long run so it has to be someone just on the verge of major stardom.

Mickey Loves Emo

From time to time, I'm reminded that I'm getting old. I'm not saying that I am old, I'm saying that I'm getting old. At the deliciously seasoned age of 26, I've realized that popular music is no longer designed to appeal to me. This week's Billboard Top 10 singles chart reveals that I've heard only 8 of the most popular songs at this very second, and I haven't even heard them in their entirety.

I can't listen to contemporary radio anymore (yeah, I went to broadcasting school, so?) without feeling like I want to claw my eardrums right out of my head. It should be an equation. The more brain cells one has = the likelier one is to be averse to multiple utterances of "yo." It's not just the songs, either. It's the people promoting them and the people liking them and everything else about the sickeningly superficial industry of getting people to buy more stuff as opposed to inspiring people to create it.

I'm no snob; I can still rock out to 80's hair metal like nobody's business. Really. I have the perfect length of hair. But from age 13 on, it was apparent to me that the lyrics weren't supposed to be taken seriously. No one should look to "Every Rose Has It's Thorn" as poetry. It would be fine if everyone else followed suit, but business isn't about being truthful about anything. It's about money and, sadly, groups like the Jonas Brothers are who make it.

Who the fuck are the Jonas Brothers?

If you'd have asked me two weeks ago, I wouldn't have been able to give much of an answer besides "um, some brothers?" Now, though, largely thanks to watching E! on hungover Sunday afternoons, I can tell you that the Jonas Brothers are - well, obviously - brothers who play music. They must have cruelly driven parents, too, considering one is clearly positioned to be "the cute one" while the other two sport jewfros and confused facial expressions. The Jonas Brothers tour with Miley Cyrus and and appear on the Disney Channel. Oh, and the cover of Rolling Stone.

Goddammit.

I only scanned the article, but it's titled "God! Girls! Guitars!" and that's lame enough for me. The music wasn't any better when cracked out dudes with mascara were trashing hotel rooms, but no one took those guys seriously. And that was awesome. If you're from Jersey and want to prance around onstage in leather pants before banging a groupie with track marks who lets you borrow her hairspray, rock the fuck on.

But if you're from Jersey and want to start a band with your brothers to croon about holding hands and whatever else you care about when you're neutered and 16, don't expect me to take you seriously. Or better yet, just go to Britain. Those limeys have been eating up shitty music for as long as they've had bad teeth.

Which is forever.

I know this could incite the comment spat that the Hanson brothers once inspired, but stadium rock just aint cute in a cardigan, kids.

Somedays It's Just Too Easy

It’s crap like this why we created ImRubberYourGlue. There are woman who are spending their hard-earned money on “fish pedicures.” Just so, you are not confused, they are not getting pedicures for their goldfish, rather they are sticking their feet in a bowl with fish in it and these fish supposedly eat the dead skin. Amazingly, this story does not come from Los Angeles or Florida, but from the D.C. suburbs in Virginia. Lobbyists wives are paying up to $50 for the treatment. You really don’t need to follow the link and read the story. Trust me; I didn’t make this crap up. I have pretty vivid imagination but I doubt I could have found the right mix of chemicals to put in my body to dream up this one.

The story goes on to say that after they are done with having fish chomp on their feet, the women then go on to have a traditional pedicure. WTF? So what is the point of the fish you ask? Well, according to the genius (I am not being sarcastic. This is genius) that came up with this scheme, it makes the pedi easier by making the skin softer. Logic tells me it has more to do with soaking your feet in water for ½ hour than the fish, but you couldn’t charge for that. The genius also says that the other reason for the fish is that it is more sanitary than traditional tools like scrapers. I call BS on this as well. Where do you think all of the dead skin these fish eat all day goes? Right back into the very same water these women are sticking their feet in!

While this is just another step leading to the collapse of our society, it’s not something to get worked up over. I kind of look at this like George Carlin looked at women with anorexia – “Somehow I can’t feel sorry for anorexics. Some rich broad doesn’t want to eat? Fuck her. Don’t eat. I don’t give a shit.”

Smokin' Cartoons

Ahhhh, those were the days.

The Mister Rogers Solution

We should really start a Douchebag of the Week here at ImRubberYourGlue. Actually, there are so many douchebags we would have to do douchebag of the day just to scratch the service of all the douchebaggery taking place. Since a weekly recurrent column would be too much like work (forget daily), we’ll just point out DB’s as we feel like it.

Today’s DB comes to us from across the pond though I am sure similar words and certainly sentiments from highly paid CEOs have been uttered right here in the good ol’ U.S. of A. Jake Ulrich, who makes 2 million dollars a year U.S. running the parent company of British Gas, who provide energy for things like people’s furnaces, announced that by the year 2010 the average British household could see their utility bill increase as much as $2,000 a year! He is aware that this is a serious issue for most families. He is not without a solution though. He says that if you cannot afford heat just put on another sweater. He also went on to say “And if carbon dioxide is causing Global Warming then maybe you should stop breathing so much. Especially you fat people.”

I’ll tell you what, I will come over there and run the company and I will do it for just $1,000,000 a year. S

ince utilities are legalized monopolies I know I am more than qualified since I don’t have to worry about things like market share or competition. Hell, In fact, outside of making sure the gas is flowing and people are paying their bills I don’t what work a CEO of a utility would actually do. That would still give me plenty of time to write for the site. Maybe we could do DB of the day. And that other mil, that can be used to help poor people pay their bills. Call me.

You Could Cut Cheese With Those Clavicles

Remember when Jenna Jameson was hot? WTF happened? Oh wait, I'm a female so I'm supposed to hate her for doing porn and subjugating herself and blah blah blah. Please. That woman's got balls. She revolutionized the female role in pornography and stinking bloody rich because she was smart enough to trademark her name when most girls are content to pack it up their noses and cram it into their chests.

Is this what dating an ultimate fighter does to a person???

Best Hair Plugs In Hollywood

Today we are having a show down to determine who has the best hair plugs in Hollywoodland. At one time both of these stars were showing definite signs of a receding hairline. Today, possibly by some miracle bestowed up them by our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ though more likely at the hand of a Rodeo Drive plastic surgeon, they have full(er) heads of hair.

In this corner, perpetually lacking any apparel on his torso, we have Matthew McConaughey. Best known for, well I am not exactly sure. Oh, he did have that one incident where he was busted for possession of weed while playing bongos in the nude with another dude. And that John Grisham film.

In the other corner we have The Piv – Jeremy Piven. A former balding, chubby comedic sidekick best known for being John Cusack’s best friend. Today he is the finely coiffed slightly buff co-star of Entourage who has given frat boy douchebag wannabes the catch phrase “Let’s hug it out, bitch.”

Here are the before pics


And here are the after


You vote and tell us. Just leave a comment.

And the Semi Ploweth Into Jedediah....

Watch the road, Abner!

A minivan was pulverized by a semi in St. Louis the other day. The driver of the semi was allegedly distracted by his cell phone, which caused him to run over ten other vehicles before crushing the van to bits. What's interesting about this crash is that the minivan was full of Amish people who had hired someone to drive them to a funeral in Tennessee. I guess you just can't stop progress.

Vagina Du Jour

Seems like there has been a lot of talk about the female sex organ here on ImRubberYourGlue.com. The other day we pondered if there was something wrong with Christie Brinkley’s snizz, and today’s vag du jour is Jessica Alba. These are two pretty fine vaginas mind you, although one is certainly past its prime. The one ostensibly still in it’s prime is Ms. Alba’s, though an article in OK! Magazine puts that in question.

Jessica brag’s about how easy her child birth was to the rag. In fact she said of her all natural child birth “I didn’t scream.” Natural child birth gives you absolutely zero drugs for pain. None. Not even Tylenol. That means she was able to pass something the size of a watermelon through her love canal sans opiates and didn’t even make a wimper? I had surgery a few years back that required me to be on a catheter and when they pulled it out I screamed like a school girl, and that was roughly the same size as the orifice it was exiting.

A woman should never brag that child birth was easy. Saying a human being can slide right out of you, no problem, implies there is little resistance going on down there. For a guy that can be downright discouraging, especially for those of us who are not Ron Jeremy.




This is how I like to think of Jessica Alba.....

Just pray it away.

Today I will be picking on the Christian Scientists.

These people have no common sense. If all it takes to make a religion is a bunch of people all looking the same direction and yelling the same name over and over with out any response then American Idol is a far better god than any that have came before, because at least your vote counts with that fay Ryan Seacrest.

Where was I?

Oh yeah. For about 100yrs this group of numb fucks has been praying for a cure for what ever ails em. Flu, toothache, teter(I don't know what teter is).

Get this straight you Judeo Christan fanatics. If millions of Jewish people didn't have there god answering prayers as they were marched in to furnaces across Europe during WW2 then what makes you think a little prayer to your god will fix your Erectile dysfunction.

GET WITH THE PROGRAM. SEE A DOCTOR AND FUCK YOUR WIFE. BEFORE THE GUY WATERING YOUR LAWN DOES.

P.S. i pay cash for human souls

What's Wrong With Christie Brinkley's Pussy?

So Christie Brinkley just settled her divorce to architect Peter Cook. Apparently the details that were about to come out were so embarrassing that they decided it was time to settle and stop the ugliness. This was Christie’s fourth marriage in her 4 years on the planet. So I think we can safely assume that something is wrong with Ms. Brinkley.

She was first married to an artist for nine years. Then she was married to Billy Joel for just 9 years. Billy, while a great singer and an icon in American music, is not that great looking of a guy. He’s short, way shorter then her. And if you saw his interview with Oprah, not much personality. I would have to conclude that landing Christie Brinkley was quite the catch for him, but apparently he was not married to her very long before he started cheating. She then was married to some real estate developer whom she filed for divorce just weeks after their first child was born. Again, this had to be the catch of a life time since he was basically just some dude.

This current divorce was caused by the husband having an affair with an 18 girl. It is also alleged that he was spending up to $8,000 a month on porn. He and Brinkley had only been married a few months when all of this was going on. The beginning of the relationship is when the sex is best, right? Yet this guy was already on to a little side action plus spending four figures a month on porn? Since even at 54 she is still easy on the eyes I can only draw one conclusion; something is wrong with her cha-cha. Either there is an odor issue or she simply chooses not to use it. I suppose that she could also be the world’s biggest pain in the ass but if that were the case would she had even gotten to the wedding stage 4 times?

By contrast, Angelina Jolie’s hoohee must be magical. She somehow got the best looking, most eligible bachelor in the country and convinced him that rather than banging a different “10” each night he would much happier taking care of a bunch of third-world kids. There is obviously two very different vaginal dynamics going on here.

PEOPLE!

Wow! It must have been a slooooow news day at People Magazine today because on of their top headlines that came across my RSS feed was this little nugget “Isaac Hanson and Wife Nikki Have a Boy!” I realize I am not likely in the People demographic being a white heterosexual male who is….. lets just say north of 35, and I don’t recognize some of he names of “celebrities” today, but I know most. So out of sheer boredom at work I clicked on said headline. Isaac Hanson, in case you are like me –NORMAL—and do not know who he is, is from the 90’s boy (literally) one-hit wonder band Hanson. So I guess Madonna hasn’t banged any more Yankees and perpetually pregnant Brangelina has not given birth yet to twins, but Isaac Hanson? Really?? Certainly Andy Dick was somewhere today. I know Danny Bonaduce did something today for sure. I like how People was compelled to spice up this story with the exclamation point on the end.

As you can see from the picture that Isaac did not grow up so cute. So maybe that is the headline; Someone is actually banging this guy. Is it me or is his dude’s head enormous? Just in case you forgot just how sickeningly sweet their “hit” MmmBop was (hey, it needs three Ms) here it is for you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5tfSqjc_WRY

Don't Forget to Get Cancelled

The other day, the boyfriend and I were flipping through the channels on his non-cable TV. I didn't grow up with cable, so my response to people who did have it and said "There's nothing on!" was "Are you kidding? You've got seventy-something channels. There's always something on!" Luckily, although I have now had cable for the past few years, I haven't lost my television naïvety and still think there's always something on.

But only when you have cable.

Like I said, the boyfriend doesn't have cable. I'm not one to complain (not about TV, anyway), so I read while he obsessively flips through no more than eight channels. I look up every now and then, usually during Nova or when I have the opportunity to mock TMZ and their bogus-ass "newsroom."

During his remote-hogging, he came across what I find to be the absolute worst show on TV: Don't Forget The Lyrics.

Everyone knows Wayne Brady sold his soul to Satan and that Satan obviously has no sense of humor. Everyone also knows that people have a nearly unlimited capacity for humiliation, and that karaoke bars the world over are their Shangri La. I can accept these truths. What I cannot accept, however, are dorky white people who clearly spent hours in front of their bathroom mirrors practicing Lionel Richie songs and different ways to shout the show's catchphrase, "LOCK IN THOSE LYRICS!"

Patrick Kramer, you shall die.

A Sphincter Says What?

I noticed there has been little on I’m Rubber Your Glue lately. Part of the reason for that is I have not read any news, watched any TV, and done very little web surfing over the past week. Therefore I have not heard about any stupid celebrities and any stupider politicians. I am aware that Jamie Lynn Spears had a kid, so did Matthew McConaughey (I understand he even wore a short in the delivery room). And I am just going to assume that John McCain has changed his position on Iraq, FISA Warrants, and the economy several times. I also took some time off work so I also have not encountered any stupid people either. Until today.

I was back at work and it was one of the girl’s birthdays, a nice person who is one of the few people at work I actually like. As she was leaving one person wished her happy birthday and one of the three things you should never say ever. Unless you are a douchebag and fully committed to your douchebaggery. You have heard them all before but bear with me while I list them here (feel free to cringe).

1. Is it hot/cold/wet enough for you? I know you are trying simply trying to be nice, make conversation, and are not intelligent enough to think up anything original to say. I get it.

2. When you’re done washing the car/mowing the lawn you can do mine next. Oh, you are quite the comedian! I bet you write for Carrot Top or worse yet, Dane Cook. Maybe you actually think you are a Jedi and you are attempting to use the mind trick?

3. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do. That’s the one I heard today that inspired this whole thing. You are an asshole so I am probably not going to do anything you would do so that only leaves me with doing things you wouldn’t do.

I know sometimes even for us non-douchebags it can be hard to resist saying these things, especially when dealing with the truly douchebagged, but these words should never pass the lips of anyone wanting to live in decent society. While you ponder this, I thought I would leave you with what may be the greatest cartoon I have ever read.

Look In the Mirror and Tell Me What You See

My dad was fond of saying that “There are more horses’ asses in the world than there are horses.” If he were alive today he would probable modify that statement to be “There are more douche bags in this world than there is douche. (I could have said something like smelly pussies, but this is a classy blog). You may have noticed that douche bag is a frequently used word on I’m Rubber Your Glue. It’s also one of my personal favorites. I don’t think most douche bags know they are douche bags. So as a public service I thought I would point out some signs so that when you look in the mirror you can tell if you yourself are indeed a douche bag.

You have one more of the following combinations on your face – an extremely manicured beard or soul patch, more than one earring, a handlebar moustache, your collar “popped,” you are wearing a ball cap at any angle other than straight, and grills.

It’s below 38 degrees and you are wearing shorts to show of your cool leg tat.

You roll up your sleeves to show of your “guns.”

You own more than 1 item from Abercrombie and Fitch.

You drive a car that you have spent more than $500 customizing.

You have more than two types of product in your hair.

You have a show and a 24-hour news network (Keith Olbermann partially excluded, Tim Russert totally excluded)

You have a reality show on the Bravo network.

These are just a few signs. There are plenty more. Contrary to popular belief, sitting in a Starbucks writing on your laptop does not make you a douche bag. No, being in Starbucks in and of itself makes you a douche bag not to mention paying $4 for a cup of coffee.

Just Pull Up to the Pump and Stick It In

The Smoking Gun reports that a hooker in Kentucky recently received a $100 gas card as payment for her services. Can't blame her. We're all painfully aware that gas is worth more than money these days, and personally, I find it inspiring that she requested fuel instead of crack.

What gets me are the charges brought against her. One for prostitution, naturally, but another for doing business without an occupational license. That's all well and good for someone selling, say, Slurpees and magazines, but in the case of such strumpets (trollopes, tramps, ladies of the night, I could go all day here), I would assume that certain anatomical features would constitute a license.

ohmygodohmygodmohmygod.....

While searching for hookers photos, I stumbled upon www.PhotosofHookers.com. Aces.

There Goes My Run for Office as a Republican.

See the above picture? One of those people is my lovely wife who chose to march with some friends in the gay pride parade in St. Louis. I was not there. I stayed at home and watched the NASCAR race. I would have gone except for one thing – all the gays. Now before you start accusing me of homophobia, let me explain. I have absolutely no problem with whom someone chooses to fall in love or have sex with. And I have no problem with lesbians at all. I am talking about the way over the top, ultra-flamboyant, deck of the Titanic gay men. They’re just sooo annoying. And when you get a lot of them together at an event, say maybe a parade, it’s time for them to let loose, upping the annoying factor to 11. You know how straight guys act when their team wins a championship? Annoying right? We run around screaming, setting stuff on fire, and generally making huge asses of ourselves. The parade is like gay Superbowl, only it smells better.

Here is the other thing that kept me away – I don’t care enough about cause to make me want to walk in a parade. There is nothing in my life that I am so into I feel the need to walk down asphalt on a hot summer day. Unless they have a parade for beer, pizza and blowjobs then I’m staying on the couch. Unless at the end of the parade there is no beer, pizza, or blowjobs then I will pass on that too.

A Missed Connection

I have a problem with hippies. It's not so much the peace or love (or dope, really) that irritates me. I think those things are aces. My problem with hippies stems from my dislike of uselessness.

Hippies are so purposeless. They wander about all dumbstruck like children who were dropped on their heads (and landed on giant bongs). No matter how political or informed they claim to be (hemp will save the world, man!), they just sort of stumble around, blissfully unaware of their surroundings or the reality of the issues their lifestyle is supposed to represent. Hippies are just too lazy to care. Baths? Meh. Jobs? Meh. Crappy music? Double dog meh. Much like the undulating swamp stomp style of their dancing, hippies just kind of bend with the wind.

The stinky, filthy wind.

My most recent brush with the hippies occurred at last week's Tom Waits show. I was excited to see this show. Insanely excited. I actually had heart palpitations when I got good seats. Tom Waits doesn't tour all that often, you see, and he's not exactly a whippersnapper anymore. As I took my seat in the grandest old theater in St. Louis, I expected magnificence. I wanted to be illuminated.

What I got was hippies.

To deal with my anger over the hippies, I did what any disgruntled Internet haver does: I went to Craigslist. (My post here.) So far I've received about 30 e-mails from fellow concertgoers who wished to share their support (including one Blogger who linked me). Some gems....

"loved your rant!....why someone didn't get up and throttle them i don't know....next time maybe we should unite and outdance them back into their seats..."

"One asshole at the show I was at (Houston) yelled out "Play some Skynyrd" Tom quickly replied "I thought I told you to stay in the corner" There were a few more assholes yelling requests too. Your post was dead on."

“I feel for you....their... uh... gyrations I guess we'll call them, were distracting enough that I kept craning my neck over, wishing I was close enough to swat them in the back of their mangy heads.”

“....your post is damn hilarious. Thanks for the laughs, sorry bout the granola.”

“Brilliant, brilliant posting. The assholes in front of me blazed up a few times and couldn't stop from moshing in their seats, their arms and hands constantly entering and re-entering my line of vision. Just wanted to say I identified.”

“Right on for you - if I see them I'll punch their teeth out for you.”

“God, thank you.”

Seriously, what is wrong with people like this????